I wrote this rant about the Norwich Union/Aviva adverts for the “Soapbox” column of the Cardiff Evening News
The recession is coming, in case you hadn’t realized. Soon capitalism and society as we know it will collapse into flames and we’ll all be reduced to gnawing open tinned cans of pineapple from abandoned supermarkets while marauding gangs of hooded youths chuck our fancy, designer and now entirely useless computers and mobile phones off bridges.
And we all know who is to blame. It’s those arrogant city boys who have been daily losing this country more money than you could fill your house with in £1 coins. Shame on you.
Finance companies, especially those like Norwich Union who only recently slashed 1,800 jobs should probably be keeping a low profile while we all decide whether to forgive them for our country losing jobs, having to shop at Lidl and the most annoying phrase of 2008 “the credit crunch.”
So the phrase “incandescent with rage” springs to mind when up popped Norwich Union’s atrociously lavish and sickeningly expensive advertising campaign featuring swathes of flailing celebrities about its change of name from Norwich Union to Aviva (seriously, who cares?)
Those 1,800 now unemployed workers laid off by the company can now smile safe in the knowledge the money saved from their salaries has probably been used to pay for Bruce Willis’ latest Porsche.
Celebrities Alice Cooper, Elle Macpherson and Ringo Starr are also paraded across our screens. They are used to imply the Beatles would only have been successful because Ringo changed his name from Richard Starkey. Yeah, because all the other people in the band had such exciting names, and Richard would have been left out, unable to compete with such inspiringly original names as John, Paul and George.
The slogan is even worse, and makes you wonder what choppers Norwich Union takes its customers for: ” Sometimes a change of name is a chance to show the world who you always wanted to be”.
Ha! Nice try Norwich Union, but I am a SMART PERSON and whether you call yourself Norwich Union, Aviva, or the Cuddles Shop, I’ll still only think of you as the company who thought the most appropriate advertising in times of economic despair was to hire swathes of desperate celebrities at vast expense to plug your meaningless change of name.
Get out of my sight and don’t come back until you’ve thought about what you’ve done.
Watch this meaningless extravagant piece of shit here:
